Revelations and realisations

Blogging is hard.

I did know that but this week it’s been driven home with a hammer blow. This week has been full on. All four of my children have had ‘big’ things going on. Last GCSES, options choices, final major project for college and less excitingly illness and friendship issues. Add in report writing time for me, settling an elderly relative into a care home and just generally keeping on top life means that time for reading has been hard to find.

And lurking constantly in the back of my mind is the blog.

“Must keep up with the blog. Must read this book, that book. Must connect with Twitter, must retweet.”

I managed, against all odds, to get a blog post out on Wednesday. But I felt rushed, a bit harassed and didn’t have time to do my usual Twitter follow up, to engage properly with other lovely bookish people.

Instead I started to get caught up in doing the ‘quick things’, namely checking the stats for the blog. Which not surprisingly given the chaos of this week have been poor. I did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do at the start of this journey, I lost sight of why I was blogging and got caught up in the numbers.

And I really want my blog to be more that the numbers, more than the likes, follows, comments and views. I want it to be something that enhances and embraces my love of books. That helps me find new things I love to read and connects me with new people.

This week I have struggled, thought about disappearing and giving it up. But then I realised I needed to reassess. I needed to stop trying to run before I could walk, still read what I want to read not what I think I should read. I needed to try and step away from the stats. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and concentrate on what I am doing, remind myself how far I have come and why I started this in the first place.

So in place of a review this weekend I am posting this. A little mantra, probably more to myself than anyone else.

“Blogging should be fun, blogging should be individual and blogging is about more that the stats”

Next week normal service – whatever that may be – will be resumed. There will be reviews, not philosophical ramblings and lots of lovely book chat.

But this week I am pressing a short pause, reassessing, reminding and thanking everyone who is still listening.

See you soon

Rachel x