I was going to start this blog with an apology but then I had to stop myself. It is pretty pointless to apologise for things I can’t control, and I certainly haven’t been able to control the fact that life has just got in the way of blogging recently.
A new job, the inevitable Christmas term mounting chaos means that blogging has had to take a back seat. It is as simple as that.
You see after a few weeks back at work, when the lazy hazy days of summer were firmly behind me I started to feel the pressure of blogging. Trying to fit in great reviews was a challenge and suddenly reading started to feel like a bit of a chore.
For the first time since my university days I looked around at the mounting pile of books and began to feel overwhelmed. Usually I will quite happily hoard reading material without any real thought of when or how I am going to get it all read; there is something liberating in just have a huge choice of books around me. But suddenly the liberty was vanishing and I was feeling the pressure.
The pressure was probably self imposed but it was real. I was waking up feeling guilty about ARCs I hadn’t read, I started avoiding reading certain books because I didn’t want to have to make notes or erudite comments.
In short reading was in danger of becoming a job, not a pleasure.
And that is something reading has never been to me.
And something I never want it to be.
So for a while I had to stop. Not stop reading but stop blogging.
I have kept up with my blog tour commitments, and will absolutely continue to do so but I have dramatically cut down on agreeing to others.
I haven’t requested an ARC for over two months. I won’t lie this has been HARD! On a superficial level I miss the thrill of book post and the chance to have a sneaky peek at greatness to come. So many times I have logged to Twitter and seen beautiful books by fabulous authors and my fingers have twitched over my email. But have restrained myself. I often have to have stern words, telling myself the book trolley is full…and the night stand…and the book shelves. I have to tell myself that I can’t read everything.
What I haven’t done is stop reading. I have given myself permission to read away from the pile, to read out of my self imposed order and to remind myself of the love of books again.
I feel like I have pulled myself back from a bit of a brink. There is no doubt I love blogging but I love reading more. And I don’t want to lose sight of that.
As a blogger I fully intend to stick around, but I have to admit to myself that I can’t take on every book written and sometimes a pause is a necessary thing.
In the last month I have read some cracking books, and I fully intend to write a catch up blog very soon. But if I don’t then the world won’t end…
Thanks for joining me on my Sunday ramble…
And KEEP READING!